A Special Wedding in Cebu

March 25, 2011

My father’s birthday is today. He has been gone almost 15 years. To him it probably seems like the blink of an eye. I’m sure he has been so busy doing missionary work, but I am also certain that he peeks in at us sometimes. Mama would like to be with him and wonders what it is that she still needs to learn here on the earth. I think it is us who need to learn from her. Surely, we have been blessed with goodly parents.

Wednesday was one of the highlights of our mission for Larry. After working for months, he succeeded in pulling everything together and we witnessed the civil marriage of Gina Gonsaga Antona and Pablo Bagsarsa Vercide. WE invited the missionary couples who were not working Wednesday afternoon to come to the wedding which was held on the main floor of the Patron House in the reception area at 4 pm. Larry also had me call Sister Siati in Capitol Ward to tell her about the wedding, and she called several other members to come. We were so pleased with the turnout. Gina and Pablo had several of their mountainside neighbors and many of their relatives come, so in all, there were more than 50 people in attendance.

Bishop Jimena of Capitol Ward conducted the service with one of the Relief Society presidency, Sister Denila, conducting the music; we sang “AS I Have Loved You” for an opening hymn and “Families Can Be Together Forever” for the closing hymn. Sister Maraon gave the opening prayer and Brother Siati, one of the assistant recorders at the temple and a past stake president, gave the closing prayer. Stake President Montera talked to them for several minutes and performed the ceremony—all in Cebuano, so we did not understand much of it, but it was perfect for most who were there. The majority of the poor Filipinos do not speak much English, Gina and Pablo included. There was a lovely, sweet spirit with us, and I can’t help but feel that all the non-members must have felt something. As President Mortimer pointed out to us later, if for no other reason, they had to be impressed that this ceremony was free. Catholic priests here charge more than the poor Filipinos can afford to pay which is why so many just live together without being married. Besides, every paper Larry had to get had at least a 100peso fee tacked onto it—and there were several! (And he had to stand in line after line to get forms, only to be sent to another office or another building that no one could give him exact directions for....he was so frustrated so many times!)

I had called the daughter of one of the sealers who has a small bakery and asked her to make a wedding cake. (I had thought about doing it myself, but this was a much better idea since it gave her some income and the cake was one the Filipinos loved—and I did not have the time or the pans to do the job.) The baker, Lolita Lintag, is a delightful single sister, and is 40 years old, but looks like she is about 25. She had polio as a girl and is crippled from it. She wanted to be a doctor and actually started medical school, but the classes were held on several floors of a high rise building and there was no elevator. Her father carried her up and down the stairs for a while, until she decided it was too demanding on her family, so she became a baker instead. The cake was beautiful, and Gina was so excited when I told her she could keep the bride and groom figurine and the silk flowers that adorned the top layer. I paid 1500 pesos or about $35 for the chocolate cake with white frosting. What a deal!

After the ceremony we invited all in attendance to eat in the Patron House Cantina—the cafeteria for the patron house patrons and any temple patrons who care to eat after or before sessions. Larry had talked to them previously, but told them he had no idea how many would be coming. They were delighted to help. And the family members and friends were more than delighted to have such a wonderful meal. There were several Filipino dishes and lots of rice—and bottles of pop (the Filipinos love pop which is one reason so many have such bad teeth). I had also made a giant pan of marshmallow topped brownies in case the cake wouldn’t feed everyone. I think many had not had so much to eat for a very long time. The members from Capitol Ward came in to eat, but the temple missionaries declined with the exception of President and Sister Byram who ate with the Siatis. The missionary couples did not even get any wedding cake. I held my breath when we checked on the bill and was dumbfounded that it was 2,445 pesos for everyone! ($70 is a pretty cheap wedding dinner, especially when The Pecks insisted on splitting the cost with us. And Byrams insisted on helping with the finances too). Elder and Sister Peck drove down from their assigned area in Bogo about three hours away to be with Gina and Pablo. They are like second parents to them; they are the ones who arranged for the land for them to build their house on, paid for building materials, sent Pablo to welding school, and took them to church here in the Apas Ward for nearly a year; they just had not been able to get the necessary papers for their marriage. Peck’s daughter sends her daughter’s hand-me-downs to Gi-an and Stephanie. . Sister Peck had taken Gina shopping for a cream colored dress to wear for her wedding and had bought a unique headband and jewelry for Gina and cute princess headbands for the girls to wear. She also bought flowers for Gina. The children looked darling, but I’m not sure they realized just what was happening and the implications. Gina and Pablo will really miss Pecks, and I think the Pecks will greatly miss their little Filipino family. I stayed in the background, feeling Sister Peck needed to be the grandma figure with the family during this special occasion. Larry is trying extra hard to see if there is a way the baptism can take place before the Pecks leave next Tuesday. They have not attended four sacrament meetings in a row in Capitol Ward but they went regularly with Pecks to the Apas Ward for about nine months. They had an interview with the district elders last week and need one more. We are eager to find out if they will be given permission for baptism. It is so true that you love those you serve; Larry has spent so much time and effort with this little family and he, especially, loves them very much.

As special as this wedding was, I contrast it with a sealing I attended in the temple yesterday. Once again I was able to help dress three little girls, 7, 6 and 3, in white and pin silk flowers with ribbons in their hair. They looked like angels, and they acted like angels too. As we walked into the sealing room, their mother started to cry and she and the father hugged all three girls between them. Again, I did not understand a word of the ceremony, but I knew what was being said. They are a family together forever now. We hope and pray that Gina and Pablo will work towards that goal for their sweet family.